BLUE

Blue... now there is an interesting prompt.  I have purposefully not read anyone else's posts because I didn't want to be distracted.  Blue is my favorite color.  It is so much so, that most of the rooms in my house, except the kitchen, have blue and brown as their color pallet.  Most of my closet is blue- from blue jeans, to nurse scrubs to t shirts to nice clothing... you will find blue.

But my blog prompt is found in my bathroom.  On my mirror, I tape various quotes, scriptures and thoughts.  It helps me as I prepare for the day or at the end the day.  Last week, I posted a new verse on a BLUE index card.  I thought I would share it with you.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ, our comfort overflows.  2 Corinthians 1:3-5

This verse is comfort for me.  Over the past couple of years, God has given me a support system that you would NOT believe.  I have a group I can call upon day or night to pray for us, or come to be the hands and feet of Christ in our lives.   They each have their own stories... stories of heartache in broken marriages, stories of trial in raising children, stories of loss of parents... each person has their own story.  But in sharing of our stories collectively, we can provide comfort to each other as our Lord has comforted us.  Isn't that what the Body of Christ is all about?  I marvel at the support system God has given me.  It is a challenge for me to go therefore and be a support system for someone else.  Last week in our community group a friend shared a quote that has stuck with me.

God won't waste any part of your story.

The trials and struggles we face now are meant for his glory.  Often we don't see it because we don't see the whole picture.  We have a God who is orchestrating our lives but even more special is we have a God who goes with us each day and comforts us as we grieve worldly sorrow.  He isn't playing games, or not paying attention... He is right here with us and chooses to use other people to demonstrate his love and comfort for us.

I find that incredibly comforting.

FOLLOW

Once again, I am spending 5 minutes using the word prompt from Kate Motaung at
/http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  I am finding myself a week behind... so technically this was last week's prompt.  I am continuously reminded to give myself a little freedom when I don't meet the deadline.

Two quick definitions of the word "follow."

1- to go or come after (A person or thing proceeding ahead); to move or travel behind.
2- come after in time or order.

I could write a lengthy blog about how either definition applies to my life.  After all, I am a follower.  I like simply be told what needs doing and then allowed to do it.  I am finding myself in more and more leadership roles within our church and sometimes I just want someone to tell me what needs doing.

But this morning definition 2 is pulling at my heart strings.  Have you experienced the period of time that comes after a storm; the peace that follows a trial in life?  That's where life has gotten "real" or "authentic" in the past 6 months of my life.  I have walked through the most difficult 16 months of my life.  I have felt: anger, bitterness, defeat, brokenness, grief and many other emotions.  But after about month 10 in the journey, I began to feel: at peace, less anxious, forgiven, refreshed and loved. This period following the darkest days have been some of my brightest days.

I've a new relationship with my Savior.  

I am able to be more "authentic" in my relationships because I have experienced the darkness. 

I find myself more aware of the needs around me.  

I find myself pouring out more praise to a God who never let me down.  

I find myself looking to the cross for strength rather than trying to go it alone.  

I find myself desiring more time of God and less of me.  

Don't get me wrong, I would never, ever want to walk through that valley again.  But the time that followed is a sweet time.  And don't get me wrong, after this time of restoration, there will be another valley to follow.  

MEET(

Welcome to my Five Minute Friday blog hosted by Kate Motaung.  You can follow the details here:

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/

This week's word is MEET.

I am a self proclaimed introvert.  I don't like being in unfamiliar situations.  Meeting new people is very awkward for someone who doesn't know how to make small talk.  Being in new places, leaves me longing for the quiet retreat of my home.  Most likely you will find me around children.  That is where I feel at home... with small people.  I say all of this to say that I rarely put myself into situations where I "MEET" people.

Recently, I felt led to change community groups within our church.  Our community groups are called Grace Groups and they exist to help us build relationships with others in our church family and to invest in those relationships and "live life together."  I'd felt the prompt of change for several months but I finally prayed over it and "took the plunge".  It is a small group- 3 couples, 1 single female, and myself.  (And 8 kids ranging from 4-15 yrs old.)

The first night, we carpooled to the group.  Honestly, I can say that if they hadn't come to get us, I would have found a way to stay home.  Once we got there, I was too nervous to eat or drink.  I listened to the small talk and contributed very little.  Finally it was time for discussion from the service, I felt my body relax.  I participated in discussion, prayer requests and survived the car ride back home.

But it was at the end of the evening that a conversation came up.  I tried to explain to the women how difficult and almost painful it was for me to come to group.  I thanked them for being so caring and welcoming.  All three women were shocked at my proclamation that I was an introvert. "Melissa, you are an amazing woman.  I can't believe you feel that way.  Oh my goodness, we are so surprised that you are shy."  I thought, "Are they serious?"

I went home thanking God that my awkwardness is not as evident to others.  I realized this group had no idea what battles I was facing.  But even so, they welcomed me.  They made me feel at home.  My prayer is that I will be sensitive and welcoming to those around me and that I will have the courage to "MEET" new people.  Isn't that part of what we, as Christians, are called to do?  To love, accept and welcome others...

 (Side note:  I have been back to group 3 other times and each time we MEET I feel less anxious.)

HIDE

Hide and seek... 

Marco Pollo...

Memory Match... 

all teach us to find things that are lost.  

We as adults play "hide and seek"... 

we frantically clean our houses before someone comes over; 

we hide our "messiness" from others because we don't know if we will be accepted

We don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable because we don't know how we will be perceived.  

If there is anything I have learned in the past 15 months, it is the truth that authenticity comes from putting away the pretenses, the masks, the "should haves" and being truly ourselves.  I treasure the few friendships I have.  You know, the intimate ones where I can be my true self without fearing judgement, pity or counsel.  Sometimes we need a listening ear even if our "listener" hasn't experienced our difficulty.  Those few women have impacted my life far more than anyone can imagine.

I want to be the kind of woman that other women can come to when they need authenticity.  I want to be the safe place for others to let down guards and pretenses, not only for my friends but also for my daughter.  There are very few people in our world that are willing to go out on the limb and be themselves.

DOOR

A door... it opens and shuts, often moved by a person but also sometimes moved by the wind. At our house the screen door always seems to pop open when I am in the middle of something else.  Then it is a mad dash to get to the door before the cats... SO FRUSTRATING.  

This is the image I have... the door opening and closing without any physical effort on my part.  It typically happens when I am occupied with something else.  It has happened several times in my life... closed ministry opportunities, ended relationships and even changes in the work place.  But it is when the door closes by something other than myself, that I see the hand of God at work.  Left to my own, I will manipulate a way to open and close my own doors but this often results in heartache and disappointment.  I have learned to sit, be patient, allow God to do His thing.  It is those times when I see His guidance most clearly.

One of my favorite movies as a child was The Sound of Music.  Of course one of my favorite lines is:

 Maria: When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window. 

I don't have any life altering doors that I see need opening or closing currently in my life.  But I will treasure this peaceful time of life because I know that those doors are a source of dependence on God.They will swing open when I least expect it and I pray I will have the wisdom to acknowledge God's hand at work.